Are You Programmed for Etiquette and Protocol?

WE’RE BACK, BABY!!!

Back in the ballpark. Taken out to the ballgame. With the crowds. Buy me some peanuts and PPE…I sure hope there’s no Covid for me…

There won’t be. We can and will do this safely and give the White Sox the cheers and reactions that they richly deserve in person. And I’m guessing that someone will yell something inappropriate in earshot of the TV mics. With any luck, that someone could be you.

By now we know that to start off anyway only 20% capacity, around 8,000 fans, will be allowed in. Season ticket holders have first dibs, without the need for lawnchairs and kids’ toys. We know that you’ll buy “pods” of seats, in effect buying a bank of seats separated from other fans. We know that you’ll be limited to where you can go in the ballpark, generally being kept to the concourse section closest to you. And we know that Sox fans drink the most per capita. Let’s roll out what to do and do not (there is no try) as fan in the Covid-19 protocol world of the 2021 Season:

Do:

• Show up to the park as early as allowed. You won’t have the traffic snarls and parking fun of prior seasons, but with cars being kept spaced and lines being kept spaced, getting in is likely to be slower than you remember.
• Wear the mask. Yeah, you’re outside and blah blah blah but you will be interacting with park staff and other people who may or may not be susceptible to Covid or carrying it. Besides, you can eat all the wonderful grilled onions you want and no one will know.
• Thank the staff. I bet any number of them aren’t going to be vaccinated given how slow the city and Cook County rollouts have been. That first weekend in April will probably just have started 1B+ through the city and county. These are people who probably had no jobs the last 12 months, especially if they work G-Rate/Wrigley in the summer and Soldier Field/UC/Allstate Arena in the winter. They also aren’t setting policy and they aren’t getting paid enough to put up with your garbage in the best of times. Be extra nice.
• Spend. We know the team will raise payroll only if they raise revenue. Eat, drink, buy merch. The rest of us that aren’t getting in are counting on you to make Jerry smile, to the extent that he physically can.
• Be aware of who is around you. Normally kids can be shielded from lousy behavior by the sheer crowd level and ambient noise, but in an empty park voices carry. Be creative with your taunts, don’t just go crass and foul right from the jump. You want to get under Adam Eaton’s skin? Tell him Guaranteed Rate can help with his mortgage, don’t just tell him to go, uhhh, that is, where he can, ummm, fornicate within.
• Be a happy drunk. If you’re going to drink (statistically you and every fan in attendance will be, even the infants), at least be jovial. These are happy times in Sox fandom!!
• Let the other team have it. They can hear you. Just, again, be creative and clean.
• Savor it. What was lost is again found.

Do not:

• Be a jackass on the secondary market. Yes, someone will buy your seats at a very, very marked up price because they are scarce and we all want in. But be a little reasonable. You can get a new boat off the playoff seats.
• Go to the game just to complain about the restrictions at the game. Sure, it’s not what we want. But while the restrictions will be released eventually, you’ll still be labeled as whiny. Enjoy what you have.
• Fight. Not that it should happen to begin with, but there’s no reason for it if everyone is separated anyway. Hurl insults back and forth if you must, but keep your distance. Getting into people’s space will just make them shut it down again.
• Puke. I cannot stress this enough, but after a year of worry about invisible spit droplets, no one needs to deal with your open and obvious hurl. Spew in the comfort of your own home.
• Give fans of the opposing team any crap. Not yet anyway. If a Royals fan gets in opening weekend, they clearly paid gobs of dough to get in there and their money is supporting Lucas Giolito’s and Andrew Vaughn’s forthcoming (I hope) extensions.
• Be that guy who tries to get one over on the staff. Yeah, sure, you’ve sat on the 100 level when you only had 500 level seats, or got into the club level when you didn’t belong, or ended up pitching 1.2 innings during a blowout because Ricky Renteria thought you were Alex McRae. But trying to get into parts of the park that are restricted is a good way to get this blown up and shut down.
• Kiss a stranger during the Kiss Cam. Not ok. Especially not now. Even with a mask. Unless you’re paying said stranger as, shall we say, an escort of a certain type where that is understood to be part of the package.
• On second thought, don’t do that either.
• Be on your phone the whole game. If you’re lucky enough to be there, be there. Be present in the moment. Always must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph! Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! On the field it is…?
• Tell me the odds. Never tell me the odds.

Spring Observations

Looking at the past week, my opinions that you are free to disagree with:

Ethan Katz, Mechanix Wiz is 3-0. Dylan Cease looked really damn good in his first start. He only struck out two over the three innings, but he was around the zone. Most importantly, his pitches stayed on the corners and he got lousy contact from the Cubs. Last two years, Cease would have those pitches drift over the heart of the plate and get whacked somewhere. The lazy flyballs and jam-shot grounders are almost a better sign than strikeouts. On Katz’ other two projects, Carlos Rodón looked solid in his one outing, Reynaldo Lopez struggled in his second but immediately knew what went wrong. The fact that Lopez, once accused of not knowing he was pitching in a game that he had already started, understood immediately that he was tipping pitches means that Katz reached his head and his arm.

Zack Collins is seemingly making me eat my own, uhhh, internal leftovers. He’s hitting .375 with a 1.063 OPS. I’d say he’s arrived…but his career spring numbers are .311 with a 1.025 OPS.

Speaking of the backstop backups, since Yermin Mercedes is only hitting .278 with a .760 OPS, the job is still Jonathan Lucroy’s to lose. Unless Yasmani Grandal starts the season on IL, I’d think that it’ll be Yas and Jonny behind the plate come April 1. If Yas can’t catch, I’d expect Collins to get one last shot to start the season.

If you’ve been reading, and you should be because illiteracy is good for no one, then you may recall that I noted the regulars were getting outhit by the NRI crowd. Never fear, we’ve achieved normalcy as the only regulars hitting at or below the Mendoza line are Jose Abreu, who garners no concern that he’ll be ready, and Grandal, who has been hurt. TA is hitting .231 but like Abreu, not really a worry. Robert: .333/.943 OPS; Eloy: .276/.792; Eaton: .278/.836; Moncada: .308/.842. Madrigal is still hurt as well, 0-2 on the spring, but his likely lineup replacement Leury Garcia is hitting .348 with an 1.073 OPS. The prospects and veteran NRIs just aren’t doing much with the chances they’ve been given, so there shouldn’t be any roster surprises.

Meanwhile, the DH derby is a two-horse race. There should still be concern about Andrew Vaughn making the leap from 55 games at no higher than A-ball, but he’s hitting .321 with a .905 OPS, 6 strikeouts with 6 walks to match. The other horse is Zack Collins. Oy…there should be concerns that his spring stat line matches past springs and there’s history in the show that shows that he doesn’t show well. Small sample for Collins as that’s only 36 games over 2 seasons, but 44 strikeouts in 102 MLB ABs is a frightening total for a guy with only 3 homers in that span. No one else has really stepped up though, so if there’s service time considerations at play Collins is the guy.

By the way, the Andrew Vaughn service time manipulation “out” for Rick Hahn? Grandal’s knee knews. If he’s not comfortable catching he’ll be the opening day DH, where he’ll stay with stints at first for a couple weeks.

Evan Marshall has 10 Ks in 4.2 innings. I just like writing that. Oh, and Michael Kopech is really scary coming out of the pen. Imagine you’re down by 3 runs going into the 7th inning and you have to face any three of Kopech, Garret Crochet, Marshall, Aaron Bummer and then Liam Hendriks. Remember how the 2005 team basically won with Cliff Politte, Neal Cotts, the remnants of Dustin Hermanson’s back and then Bobby Jenks? This is way better.

For those wondering why the rotation is Giolito-Kuechel-Lynn, think series-to-series. That’s power righty, crafty lefty, power righty. Next series is presumably power righty (Cease), lefty (I’m assuming Rodón), power righty (Giolito). Then lefty, righty, righty, but you can skip Cease for Rodón. More importantly, it is a preview of the first three games of a playoff series, where Kuechel breaking up Lynn and Giolito makes sense. This is in spite of the possibility that at the end of the year, the Sox’ rotation might be ranked 1.) Giolito 2.) Lynn 3.) Cease 4.) Kuechel 5.) Rodón/Lopez/whoever.

A Lineup’s worth of Things about the Sox that worry me, an ongoing list:

1. Nothing! Spring Training is where Hope Springs Eternal!
2. If the Arizona air can make Zack Collins look good, is it inflating Andrew Vaughn?
3. That I watched Nick Madrigal corkscrew himself to ground out to third and haven’t seen him since.
4. Liam Hendriks blew a save? Is Westview falling apart?
5. Carlos Rodón is taking the 5th starter role after 1 outing.
6. I know they don’t count but it hasn’t even been a “good” 3-8.
7. Walls and Nets vs. Eloy. (Don’t even clown about it).
8. Extensions are starting to loom larger. Giolito, Vaughn and Lynn would be nice to lock down, even though two of them haven’t made a regular season appearance yet.
9. I didn’t say Nick Williams’ name anywhere. Or did I..?
10. And warming up in the pen: Yasmani’s right knee is Darth Vader…twisted and evil.